2015

Coming so soon, a brand new year, I am actually anticipating

Eliminating toxic people and getting along with new people, good people

Grow up to so many things to be thankful for, I guess that's one of the meanings of growing up ya?

Don't want to be so sentimental about new year but I am just really grateful of things happened on and around me all this while, I feel so blessed. I am not worthy for all these really. 

Last year this time everything was so different. 

Losing makes me learn so much, I grew up so much from it it doesn't even feel like a losing anymore. 

To be honest I did not dwell on it for long, moved on almost like I never loved

The feeling of unworthiness really worn me out. I was constantly in battle with myself of how much I worth, till all the feelings wear off, till I finally realize I worth more than these.

The split was painful though. It was meant to be. I was so attached, too attached. 

But now here I am, all back in one piece, so much happier than before. 

No pain no gain I guess, lol

If that's to be said as a lost I would say, It's a good lost. It's a good decision. A decision that is for best, and never to be regretted. 

What's left was just grudge. It will pass and it did. Forgive and forget is easier said than done but I would say I am already there? 

It just make me feel quite uneasy if people still have hatred towards me because that would be totally out of my fathomity and I believe that I have definitely done more than enough. 

But here's my little something:

Never let them feel under appreciated. Don't take for granted, people do not owe you to treat you this well, always be thankful. 

Don't keep, spill it all out. Happy or sad. Tell. Tell them you are happy, tell them you love them; tell them you are upset, tell them if you need a hug, tell them even if you're angry. Solve it together, don't let problems go over the night

Learn to express your love and gratitude, I am never good enough in expressing but I am trying. Show them you love them, let them know, by actions.

Don't hate, Spread love.

Not everyone knows what my name means in Chinese, I think my name is quite meaningful lol but I kinda....hated it? 

美溢. Beauty from the inside out (such a pretentious name I know lol ish)

I hated it when people want to know the meaning of my name, I hated it when they want to tell what does my name mean. I was ashamed of it. I felt wasn't worthy for the name. It was too good, too much for me. But now, I just want to strive, in my own way. I will be that, 美溢. Lol. 

当个美溢的美溢。

2015. Everything is gonna be different, but everything is gonna be good. Hopefully.

Just have to sum up with a picture of us, HAHA.

He wasn't looking into the camera but I don't care lol, I look uglier in other pictures hahahahha

♥